Kiwi!

AWWWWW.

Myotonic Goats

I gotta say, my cousins spew a whole lot of inanity, but I'll never doubt them when it comes to goats. When they tell me that there's a rare genetic trait that manifests in some goats as a possum-like defense mechanism where the goats legs lock up in a hilarious attempt to escape some predator; when they tell me that they just fall over flat by the dozen in a manner that causes some to call them Tennessee Scare Goats, I will never doubt them again.

Science Will End Us All

I've always thought that it would be great to start a pyramid scheme, with a twist. Instead of an unsustainable good or service, the payoff would be a series of books on how to start and upkeep your own pyramid scheme. I honest-to-God dreamed about it when I realized that no one was capitalizing on the folks who run these things. And this way, the only people whose money you're stealing are morons (that's Social Darwinism for ya) or would-be crooks. I'm totally serious. Don't take this idea from me, it's one of the good ones.

Hey, it turns out nanotechnology may be possible as soon as 2010; 2030 at the latest. This could very well come from the innovation of fabricators, which will construct human-scale products for use within months of their debut. This is because nanotechnology, like "artificial intelligence" (I'm skeptical), will grow exponentially. Of course, since everything will be engineered at the smallest possible scale, it has been theorized that an engine strong enough to power a car could be fit into a cubic centimeter, and a supercomputer could be fit into less than a cubic millimeter. Because everything would be aligned near-perfectly on a small scale (like a diamond is naturally arranged), products will increase in structural integrity, with certain materials becoming up to 100 times stronger than steel per pound. Another possible outcome of this seemingly too-good-to-be-true science is that the cost of everything will go down. It also means more union-made products to buy, and less dependence on overseas (unregulated) labor. You know what else? This whole thing means means we're all within a few decades of a gray goo scenario. There's really only one rational response to this.

P.S.: If you go to "The Scream" Wikipedia page, there's a photo of the thieves. A photo of them mid-heist. For real.

All info thanks to the Center for Responsible Nanotechnology.

Pipe Dream

You know what always seemed like an oxymoron? "Hydration salts". Hmmm.

Sand Art

The other day I heard one weird song; "A Nervous Tic Motion Of The Head To The Left" by one Andrew Bird. Take a listen. Weird, right? Anyway, check out these sand-based art pieces:

I think that last one is best summed up by username "JaBaBz13", when he says "its beutiful and i am filled with unexplanable emotions when i watch diz." Also, these three, which were ads for Animal Planet. The way he "morphs" each animal is pretty impressive.

And you know who I think would be a cool guy in real life? Mark Ruffalo.

If for no other reason than his name sounds like "Buffalo".

Last Request

I saw this a few years ago while doing research for an anti-capital punishment debate (I lost). Regardless, it's extremely well-done; with tears, the occasional dark chuckle, confusion and outrage. It can be found in its home at The Private Hand website. And sorry about the glitching at the beginning. It's harder than it should be to convert a SWF file to a watchable format.

Also, the last country to outlaw the death penalty was Uzbekistan. We're behind Uzbekistan? C'mon, USA.

P.S.: If you've forgotten (or missed) my post about mailing me stuff you find, you can find the "houseofoddio(at)gmail.com" address in the "Mail Me At:" column to the right over there.

Herpex

Ask your doctor if Herpex is right for you.

No More MCR? Alright Then.

FINALLY! Russia knows what's going on.

Japan Is So Much Better

I can't decide what's better: *wikki wikki wikki* "Wrong" or "INSOLENCE!"

Damn Sayer, You're On A Roll

Meet Emily

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *huhh* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Beard Team USA

Take a look at these photographs.

Think they're pretty awesome, do you? Many might. But people such as yourself are people who cannot read between the lines. For you see, there is something terribly wrong going on in the above pictures. Every single one of those people is European. Mostly German. Men with beards this big can only be avatars of extreme power; power that should remain safely in the hands of those who can defend it best. The soft, caressing hands... of America. So I propose that we organize a coalition of the willing, a party of strong-hearted men with little facial hair whatsoever (preferably none). Meanwhile, we do things the way we've always done it. Violence. We throw those Blofeld-esque hirsute characters a good old-fashioned American curveball by having a second party of men sneak inside. Men with hair to rival that of God himself (He's got a pretty nice beard). I call this second group... BEARD TEAM USA.

Maybe we'll win next year.

P.S.: In case you're wondering, the categories are: Natural Mustache, English Mustache, Dalí Mustache, Imperial Mustache (Handlebar), Hungarian Mustache (Wild West Sheriff style), Freestyle Mustache, Natural Goatee, Fu Manchu Mustache, Musketeer, Imperial Beard, Freestyle Sideburns, Partial Beard Freestyle, Full Beard Natural, Full Beard w/ Styled Mustache, Full Beard Garibaldi, Full Beard Verdi, and Full Beard Freestyle. This is some serious shit (You can see the top three 2007 contestants in each category here).

We Now Return To Our Regularly Something Something

Whew. Okay, so I'm back! Keep in mind that updates will NOT be every day.

So, as I understand it, there's a new term floating around certain circles, one of those new vocabulary words that I'm so fond of. "Greenwashing," apparently a play on "whitewashing," is the term for when a company decides to label a new project or promotion "environmentally friendly" so all the hipsters can feel a little less guilty; especially when the project in question seems green on the surface but is less than sturdy when pushed. A good example of this is the hybrid vehicles that everyone loves to point at, to somehow prove that corporations have the best intentions at heart. I like to think that some do, but never forget that every single money-making enterprise is fueled by people who look out for number one. Specifically, many hybrids are doing far more damage than you might think. Another thing that's really irking me is this sudden dependency on biofuel. While at first glance the idea seems good, you have to consider how much nitrogen is needed to grow corn (it's a lot). What's worse, now farmers are growing corn solely for fuel puposes, ignoring other crops. Crops like wheat. In my area alone, bread prices have rocketed up an extra two dollars a loaf. Here's the kicker: Almost every major revolution in history was sparked by the cost of a comparatively simple commodity. Like tea. Or oil. Or bread. Yeah.

Fratello Metallo

Watch the video, then read this article. The guy is an inspiration for us all. Thanks to Alexandra. Which reminds me, if you happen upon some internet oddity and deem it worthy of this esteemed hall of insanity, you can mail me at "h o u s e o f o d d i o @ g m a i l . c o m", minus the spaces of course. I just have to be wary of the spambots. Wasn't careful with my Hotmail, and now I cannae use it.

Commercials

Wow. I'm so sorry. I've spent the last week without internet access, either in Toronto (awesome) or Augusta (less so). But now that I'm back, I got stuff to say. Or link to. I thought I would post a few of the best commercials I've ever seen. This first one is for Traveler's Insurance. It amazes me how much people spend on advertising; when so little people are swayed by them.

Then there's the ever-amazing "Cog" famous because it used no CG and no trick photography. It did take a couple thousand takes before they had enough usable material, but all components are actually from the Honda Accord (the tires are weighted, in case you're wondering).

This one's European, so it got limited US airtime. The song is "La Breeze" by Simian.

This ad is Escher-inspired, which reminds me; if anyone would like to take my as-of-yet unused DJ name of "MC Esha", feel free (try something involving the lines "twisted beats" or "flows to confuse yo' eyes").

This one's from New Zealand, proving something or other.

I'll just go ahead and stop commenting on these.

That last one was banned, and the one before that was local (where I am). These next two hold a special place in my heart as the two greatest ads ever; and where ads are chunks of time to waste until the show comes back on, it means something when I would just rather just watch them on repeat than, say, an episode of "Two & A Half Men".

While I'm here, I'd just like to add: Who the hell is Michael Phelps? Who elected him Mayor of "Let's All Stop What We're Doing So We Can Gape In Awe At The Swimming Man"(which is kind of an awkward name for a town, but who am I to judge)? I am sick and tired of hearing about this wunderkind who can do something a little better than anyone else before him.

Figlet

Did you know that walking around barefooted on mulch, while innocuous-seeming enough, is actually a stupid idea? Did you know that shards of wood can stab you clean through the bottom of the foot? I didn't. Learn from my mistakes.

In the early Nineties, when computers were still very much for the nerdy masses only, the phrase "open source content" was almost redundant. If a neat little program was in demand, someone just wrote it up and gave it out to the other nerds, who would modify it as their needs dictated. In our current social climate, this end-user culture (I coined that), people don't want to have to write programming. They want to pay an ambiguous third-party conglomerate and have everything they need at their fingertips. This is not by any means a bad thing; it is however, a little sad. The computer has ceased to be a magic box where only the eccentrically devoted need apply; it now frequents the most unlikely of places, even (ye gods) my grandmother's house. True, I think she only has dial-up, but still.

The moral of the story is Figlet. The program was written in 1991 by Glenn Chappell. Its first incarnation was 170 lines of C code, where you would input a phrase and an ASCII signature would pop out. That's what Figlet does, you see. It writes words better than you can. For instance, the first font ever written was "Standard".

Since then, the program has expanded to its current library of hundreds of fonts. Fonts like Bulbhead.

Or Broadway KB.

Everything from the uninspired Digital

to the oh-so-impressive Calligraphy.

You ca see all of the current fonts at this rather attractive front-end GUI. You can change everything from the color to the number of fonts displayed. It also has the more-professionally done AOL Macro fonts, ones that look like this.

Have fun.

I'm Impressed

They Might Be Giants have been one of the consistent musical elements in my career (see my FIRST POST EVER), and while I wait for their return to music written and performed for adults, I can console myself with the realization that they can still make a mind-blowing music video.

Fans of bloody coups, anachronistic robots made of paper, less than subtle nods to Shakespeare or fans of catchy guitar riffs can count themselves among the fans of this video. And I'm fairly sure those four categories cover... everyone.

For some short ideas that I've been kicking around for a few days but didn't warrant enough content for a post of their own; I saw Shark Week not too long ago. I love the Discovery Channel. The fact that sharks haven't evolved in a few millennia just shows that they no longer have anything to offer to the gene pool. They're done fine-tuning themselves. This means that a) the blood-thirsty, merciless monsters that routinely make news by tearing off a limb or something are essentially the model for the perfect species, or b) sharks have beaten out every other breed of ocean-dwelling carnivore to become a veritable master race, the Aryans of the Deep*. The other piece of news I found was that on September 1, 2001, Marvel Comics unveiled a new supervillan. His name was Jihad, and he was a giant Middle Eastern genie bent on world-domination. For some reason, he hasn't been used much since.

*"Aryans Of The Deep" just so happens the title of my screenplay, in which the Nazis (who've been hiding in giant undersea fortresses) return in massive submarines to terrorize us all once again. I kid, of course. That would be ridiculous.

Going To A River

I'll be back soon, I promise. Take a look at this to tide you over.

By Don Cavalli.