Best Of Craigslist

I'd long heard of this magical place where people just hopefully... ask for stuff (and sexual favors) and then reap the online benefits; but I had never actually been to Craigslist. What a waste. All this time I could have been laughing it up hardstyle. Because there's apparently such a thing as "The Best Of Craigslist". And it's worth it. Here are a few of my favorites.

Guitarist of megalomaniacal speed seeks audience who won't combust
HENCHMEN NEEDED
Here's to you, Fat Sauna Gawker* (my favorite)
It's me! Every girl ever.*
my coke for your pot
Thanks, Mr. Hipster Record Store Clerk*
The local ten o'clock news
To All Of The Cute Girls Who End Up F*****g My Roommates
To the person who put a Rick James album on my windshield...*
To The Stoner Who Works At Cottage Inn Pizza* (my second favorite)
Why we should hang out: a mathematical proof (bonus points for the XKCD)
You were being shoved into a Dallas Police car.*
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

The starred ones are choice. And while this one stinks of bad spam mail (the kind that ends in "LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE" or some equally insipid garbage written by middle-aged ladies (no doubt surrounded by cats)) , I want it to be true. Maybe if we all close our eyes and just hope really hard, it'll come true.

P.S.: Upon spellchecking, I saw that I wrote the phrase "hardstyle" instead of "hardcore". I propose we ditch the now-outdated term in favor of this new, immensely funnier version.